Ollie was bored one day, he found a vat of green goo and decided to be a prat and push his sister into it... before realising he didn't even have a sister and plunged face first into it and was magically transported to the world of Dissidia where he doesn't particularly want to be as he has better things than playing wrestling with magic, unfortunately, the temptation to kick some arse takes over and so he heads in with nothing but a six-pack of Carling, Final Fantasy VII Disc 2 and a pair of sai given to him by a Korean farmer from the past.
Reason for Fighting
Is it for peace and love and all the usual jazz? No!
Is it for his own desires? Possibly...
Is it to impress the young beautiful Princess who is stalking him? Most definately!
Appearance
Ollie, being thoroughly unprepared for this ehhh... trip has unkempt dark hair,brown eyes, jeans, about ten belts to keep to RPG cliche, black shirt with a design of some sort on and a black jacket, is there much else to say... not really. His alternate outfit sees him in a Roman toga and with a ginger goatee for no particular reason.
Weapons and Equipment
He wields whatever the hell he comes across, his default weapon is his trusty blue sai offered to him by Hung wi Min, his Korean farmer ally and fellow blast from the past. He equips whatever, try any armour or helmet or plastic shield or whatever, if he keeps it on it's fine, if he throws it in your face and dances the Irish jig, you best rethink your equipment choices, simple enough really.
Original Weapons
| Weapon Name | Weapon Class | Statistics | Can it kill a regular person before he can scream? ie. additional information |
| Saiyonora | Sai | ATK + 1 / BRV + 3 / SPD + 6 | Nope; however, it does allow the holder to receive optimal internet connection! |
|---|---|---|---|
| Idaho | Wheat Sheaf of Rosetta | ATK + 10 / BRV + 20 / DEF + 4 /SPD + 13 | Nope, the wheat sheaf itself is worthless as a physical weapon, it does shoot a torrent of water at the opponent though! |
| Final Fantasy VII Disc 2 aka Bessy | Disc | ATK + 8 / BRV + 35 / DEF + 7 / SPD + 18 | Nope, the disc itself is shot out, slices the opponent's body (managing to cut through armour 'cause it can) to deal damage! |
| TW-@-oh-mi-tar | Sai | ATK + 22 / BRV + 59 / DEF + 13 / SPD + 15 | Possibly, either way, the weapon (in my mind atleast) looks epic! |
| Astialma | Short-sword | ATK + 35 / BRV + 47 / DEF + 14 / SPD + 25 | Shit name for an otherwise mediocre weapon so bear that in mind bitches :) |
| Grandieta | Broad-Sword | ATK + 48 / BRV + 75 / DEF + 30 / SPD + 3 | Yes, if you could swing the blasted thing fast enough, it's a tad heavy for Ollie though as he's a weak pillock! |
| Hyposaichui | Sai | ATK + 66 / BRV + 50 / DEF + 33/ SPD + 29 | Yes, Ollie's ultimate weapon 'cause I deem it so, it does have the slight flaw of draining bravery constantly after Vladimir Putin tinkered around with it :( |
Battle Type
Survival of the Fittest, Ollie is a complete coward and constantly flees from attacks, mostly to no avail; not because he is a pacifist as such, more due to the fact that he does not want his face done in by some other bastard. As such, his bravery attacks hit fast but not for much, it is also difficult to get a combinatation of bravery attacks in due to Ollie's cowardice. HP attacks are much like his bravery, fast, not overly complicated but complete shite at trying to piece together decent combinations of attacks. Defence is pretty shit but he is fairly fast and expect this prat to be fleeing a lot.
Bravery Attacks
| Name | Type | What does this bugger do? ie. Description | Additional Effects |
| Croquet Magi-Time | Ground | Due to Ollie's cowardice, an attack to suit his personality, where he gets a croquet hammer-thing and uses is to send his only magical attribute towards the enemy (a glowing white sphere), the magic itself is completely useless being used to distract the enemy, it is infact Angus, a Scotsman in a tartan kilt, who sneaks up behind the opponent, whilst he/she is distracted, steals the bravery points (lets say he steals half of Ollie's weapons bravery attribute in bravery points plus adds 5% of Ollie's Bravery base value, so take the weapon Idaho and say Ollie's base bravery is 200, 20 + bravery plus 10% of 200, which is 10 therefore Angus steals 30 bravery points) and runs back to give the brave points stolen to Ollie. If two Ollie's are facing one another and both choose the Croquet Magi-Time attack, Angus goes after one Ollie, while his wife, Angessabelle goes after the other. | The chosen feature does not apply, so you're wasting your time looking here! |
|---|---|---|---|
| Lecture | Ground | Ollie lectures the opponent with his dull, bland monotonous voice about a subject of little interest to anybody, forcing the opponent to give up 15 % of their current bravery to shut him up, of course, Ollie takes 4.8736 seconds in preparing his lecture and so there is ample time to shut him up with an attack beforehand whilst he is whipping out is laptop to search the barrage of information he has in store. | Do you think anything would apply here, yep, didn't think so, so piss off and look at another box where there is information! |
| Mass Moyda | Aerial | Whilst in the air, Ollie can lob his weapon, that absorbs 10% of base bravery and 5% of stage bravery off of the opponent. For example, if the opponent had 300 base bravery and the stage had 1500 bravery, Ollie would absorb 30 bravery off of the opponent followed by a further 75 making a total of 105, the weapons thrown then come flying back to him because love conquers all and Ollie loves to stab things... allegedly. | There is nothing to be had here! |
| Winter Bluffs | Aerial | Ollie constantly whips the opponent with his tinsel that he has stored in his pockets/toga stealing 17 bravery at the intial hit with 7 bravery points being taken on subsequent attacks. The first hit has 100% chance of success with the subsequent hits percentage halving after every hit, so the second would be 50%, the third would be 25% the fourth would be 12.5% and so on so forth. | Wall rush |
| Masquerade | Ground/Aerial | Disguises himself as Margaret Thatcher, who privatises the bravery point systems thereby gaining 25% of the stage bravery, this only works on those of Cosmos' Cabal and Wiki Users and has a 40% success rate. | There is nothing in this section that belongs here so look again! |
| Latrina Latrat | Ground/Aerial | A dog's bark emanates through the arena, the opponent shits themselves in fear whilst Ollie takes this opportnity to steal 50 % of the opponent's current bravery points minus 30. SO if the opponent had 200 bravery points, Ollie would steal 70 bravery points. In order for this to work, the opponent must be in striking distance of Ollie when the attack is exectuted. | Nothing to be said and therefore nothing to be read. |
Offensive (HP) Attacks
| Name | Type | What does this bugger do? ie. Description | Additional Effects |
| Divinity | Ground | A choir of angels cry out, the demons weep and Ollie hits the enemy with a glowing white energy thing emanating from his weapon. | Wallrush |
|---|---|---|---|
| ... / --- / ... | Aerial | From the air, Ollie shoots his weapon towards the opponent. | - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- - .... .. -. --. / .... . .-. . / ... --- / .--. .. ... ... / --- ..-. ..-. |
| Ground/Aerial | Slashes the enemy twice, first steals 5% of opponents bravery, second takes off HP and thus the enemy get hurt, Ollie gets mild whiplash, the world is in balance | Nothing here, go away! | |
| Basilisk | Ground/Aerial | Fast and simple, wraps the weapons around the neck and slices. | Mind your own business! |
EX Mode
The Amano Ambush Array turns your PlayStation Portable into an etch a sketch, where a name of a person, place, weapon or item will appear and you have to draw it as best you can using the functions of an etch a sketch. It then gets uploaded onto the Internet and you must wait until 73 people have rated it out of 5 (5 being the glorious dessert ie. the best, 1 being the dog's dinner ie. the worst). Depending on your rating depends on the attack Ollie uses: if you get rated 182.5 or higher, Ollie will unleash Soul Castration, a devastating attack; if you get 182.4 or lower, you will fail and Ollie will unleash Soul Malnutrition, a well... it's an attack at least... Whilst in Ex Mode, Ollie regenerates health and bravery at a faster rate.
EX Mode Attacks
| Name | Type | What does this bugger do? ie. Description | Additional Effects |
| Soul Castration | Ultimate | The character's soul is drained out slowly whilst imploding in on itself dealing damage equal to Ollie's Bravery Points times 10. | Your PSP turns mauve and a shooting star flies past, in game terms, ehhh wall rush is the only one I know so that happens! |
|---|---|---|---|
| Soul Malnutrition | Inferior | Ollie's soul ends up exploding, taking him down to 1 HP and halving his bravery, the opponent also gets caught in the explosion and receives damage equal to Ollie's Bravery (after being halved) divided by the distance (in centimeters) between the opponent and Ollie. | Nothing what-so-ever, what do you expect? No wall rush for a failure! However, your PSP turns into a Magnavox Odyssey for the remainder of the battle, have fun with your brand new antiquated console. |
| Origami | Special Attack | Does nothing what-so-ever. | Wall Rush |
Music
- Standard Battle (friend)- One of my favourite video game music pieces!
- Mullen's Battle Theme, Grandia [1]
- Important Battle (enemy)- Epic remix of an epic song!
- Decisive Battle Remix, Final Fantasy VI [2]
- Unlockable Bonus Song - A really good song and from a fairly unknown game!
- Picnic, Super Fantasy Zone [3]
- Victory- Rather obvious what it's going to be!
- Victory Fanfare (Cockatiel Version), Final Fantasy Series [4]
- Defeat- This will split your brains apart: don't click it unless you enjoy pain!
- Entire soundtrack overlapped, Crazy Bus [5]
- Wandering Map- Like the theme so it slips it's way on as the Map theme!
- Main Theme of Final Fantasy V, Final Fantasy V [6]
Quotes
Entering Battle
- 'PLEASE!'
- 'Congratulations, death for you!'
- 'After eons of waiting, I have finally found my pretzel, thank you!'
- 'Insert stock phrase of you choice here!'
- 'Your strength is futile and you skills are forfeit against mine... I hope...'
- 'ROOOAAARRR! Have I scared you?'
Encounter
Himself
- Ollie - 'Shit... what the...? Still I bet I win!'
Cosmos' Cabal
- Warrior of Light - 'Someone with less plot significance than a NPC surely can't best me!'
- Firion - 'My patience grows forever shorter!'
- Onion Knight - 'Unfortunately for you, I eat little boys for breakfast!'
- Cecil - 'Pride of the Red Wings of Baron my arse!'
- Bartz - 'Stupid, little boy, get a job!'
- Terra - 'Magic is for pussies, pussy!'
- Cloud - 'Ah the over used, over exposed, over rated pretty boy is over here!'
- Squall - 'Maybe you're a lion; then again maybe I'm a poacher!'
- Zidane - 'Don't throw your crap at me, monkey boy!'
- Tidus - 'Not you... PLEASE!'
- Shantotto - 'Such a big word for such a small lady!'
Chaos' Crackheads
- Garland - '♫ Get knocked down, but I get back up again, you're never gonna keep me down...'
- Emperor 'Manipulative, intellectual and evil, shame you're a piece of shit!'
- Cloud of Darkness - 'Tentacles and a naked woman, am I in some sick dream?'
- Golbez - 'You spoony
bardprat!'
- ExDeath - 'Where's my weed killer?'
- Kefka - 'Enter Captain Spaulding to wreak more havoc!'
- Sephiroth - '♫ Sephy's Mum has got it going on!'
- Ultimecia - 'With less characterisation than Warrior of Light, don't waste my time bitch!'
- Kuja - '♫ Dude looks like a lady!'
- Jecht - 'I admire your parental skills, did you by any chance star in Pirates of the Carribean?'
- Gabranth - 'You're a nasty, nasty bastard really!'
The Big Bad Guy
- Chaos - 'Ha! You expect me to take you seriously when you have a snake for a penis!'
Wiki Users
Feel free to include yourself if you wish.
- KujaRhapsodos - 'Salut to ye, shame you'll never get a chance to finish that last little edit!'
- Cluna - 'Please don't slash me... Oww! Hey I said, 'please!
- TenzaZanetsu - 'Off with your head!'
- Armageddon11 - 'Ah another person to cross off my to kill list!'
- Yuanchosaan - 'Alone with the sword of truth... and there are no evil chickens for miles... Muwhahahahahahahahahahah!'
- Jeppo - 'Try to beat this challenge!'
- Fear the leading man Balthier - 'Slash? Cut? Are you emo?'
Victory
Normal
'Muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah and whatnot!'
'I can't accept this victory; but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy having beat the crap out of you.'
'If I had a penny for evertime I've beaten somebody I'd have ehhhh...'
'Baa...'
Low Health
'I... think... I... need... a... coffee...'
'Meh, low heath, max health, what's the difference, I still won. Now where's the bloody ambulance?'
Stong Opponent
'ROOOAAARRR and whatnot!'
'Easy as pie, that's covered in very hard steel, protected by a layer of citric acid and contains a rather difficult jigsaw puzzle.'
Weak Opponent
'Go back to working at charity shops or whatever.'
'Weak rhymes with freak.'
Defeat
Normal
'Damn you bastard'
'Failure again...'
'No, sorry I meant noooooooooooooooooooo... oh I can't be bothered!'
'There was only a 96.737364572782% chance I would lose... why?'
Strong Opponent
'Qu'est-ce qu'un cafouillage!'
'Curse my generosity I wont be letting you win again!'
Weak Opponent
'Defeat... at your hands... impossible... well technically not because I've just been defeated by you but still...'
'Curiosity killed the cat so I wouldn't think too deeply how you beat me... pussy!'
Moves
Bravery Attacks
Croquet Magi-Time - 'You don't have to be posh to be priveledged, you just need a shit load of luck'
Lecture - 'Now let a common Wikiphile teach you a thing or ten.'
Mass Moyda - 'Ten, nine, eight, damn what comes after eight, I mean before eight, I mean... die please!
Winter Bluffs - 'Behold my tinselly wrath!'
Masquerade - 'This lady's not for turning!'
Latrina Latrat - 'Vos ero latratus in laboro nunc satis vos fossor!'
Offensive (HP) Attacks
Divinity - 'Listen to the angels crying, they weep for your misfortune!'
... / --- / ... - '-. ..-. --- .-. - ..- -. .- - . / . -. --- ..- --. .... / - --- / .-. ..- -. / .. -. - --- / -- --- .. --..-- / ... .- .... -- . / .. ... -. .----. - / .. - ..--..'
Lionheart Kittybrain - 'Maybe I'm a pussy!'
Basilisk - 'I am indebted to my own genius!'
Ex Mode
Soul Castration - 'Now suffer... castration of the soul!'
Soul Malnutrition - 'Your soul are gone... Damn, I did an Aeris!'
Origami - 'Now you shall never see the light of day!'
On a final note!
There I'm finished, t'was fun while it lasted :)
I never did understand why people did this but it's certainly made me a much better person, wait that doesn't make sense... no matter, have fun and whatnot!